Among other things, he has a score to settle. Sure, it's about serving his country. Of course, it's about succeeding in the U.S. Army. But it's also about Jason.

While the other soldiers serving in Pvt. Jared Pautsch's unit in Afghanistan no doubt pine for their families back home, Pautsch pines a little differently. For him, the homesickness mingles with anger.

Pautsch, 24, of Davenport was stationed at Fort Bragg, N.C., when his little brother, Jason, 20, was killed in a suicide bombing April 10 in Mosul, Iraq. Jason Pautsch graduated before the rest of his class of 2007 from Davenport North High School because of his eagerness to enlist in the Army.

Just a few months after Jason's death, Jared did something that both surprised and made perfect sense to the rest of his family: He re-enlisted in the Army and headed straight for his late brother's unit - 1st Battalion, 67th Armor Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

But that wouldn't do.

Shortly after Jared reported for duty at Fort Carson, four months to the day after his brother died, Jason's unit returned from Iraq. It would be at least a year before they would be redeployed. And Jared couldn't wait.

"He wrote on his Facebook that he wanted to 'liberate the oppressed, do battle with the oppressors and settle a score,'" the men's father, David Pautsch, said Friday. "I told Jared, 'That's fine with me if you want to deploy, but only do it if you feel peace about it, because that's how the Lord leads us.'"

Faith is as present in the Pautsch family as the letter J, which begins the first name of all five Pautsch children. As the eldest, Jared is JP1. Jason was JP2. Then it's Jacob, JP3, Jenna, JP4, and Josef, JP5.

On Sept. 27, JP1 shipped out for Afghanistan.

"It seems weird to think that I have already been here almost one month and not a day goes by that I don't think about my brother, Jason," he wrote in an e-mail Thursday. "I have his signature tattooed on my right wrist from an old bill I found of his, so I look at my wrist every day and wonder what he is doing."

An escort again

The image was almost unbearably moving.

Jared Pautsch, handsome and stoic in his Class A greens and maroon beret, was the official escort for his brother's body when it returned home to Davenport April 17. Jared stood sober and rigid, his eyes fixed forward, each and every time the body was moved for the various memorial and funeral services throughout the Quad-Cities.

His first assignment in Afghanistan would seem almost cruel.

"It has been an emotional battlefield more than I thought it would be, being that right after arrival in country I was put on detail to help carry one of the eight caskets of the soldiers who were killed when their patrol base was run over by terrorists," Jared wrote. "That was most difficult doing while trying to keep my military bearing and carrying the casket. But I made it through like always.

"I just let the tears run down my face and kept walking without missing a step."

All eight soldiers were from Fort Carson.

The Pautsches' mother, Teri Johnson of Moline, said the escort duty Jared provided his brother never was a question.

"There was no way he would let anybody else do that," she said Friday. "He had to stand at attention for a very long time during the funeral, and several people mentioned it to me. But I was sitting next to him at the funeral and, as his mother, I could tell he had reached his limit at times."

When his duty ended at the cemetery, the soldier in Jared stepped back. And the brother stepped forward.

"He went down on one knee in front of his brother's casket and sobbed," Johnson said.

Anger, questions

Soldiers must confront death. They know that. When they do, though, it can change them.

The killing has changed Jared.

"It's funny, working with these Afghan people every day, because every day I dislike them more," he wrote. "All I hear is stories of fellow soldiers being blown up and some Afghanistan worker helping by giving away coordinates of our position.

"In the long-run, though, I don't believe this war is a good idea to keep trying to win, because there is nothing to win. The people here do not want to be saved and will not help themselves. They say you can't sell a pig a bath, and you also can't save people who do not want to be saved."

While his bitterness is born largely of firsthand experience, Jared saw something before he went to war that likely settled firmly in his mind. Shortly before he deployed, he walked into his visiting father's hotel room and declared that he was ready to see his brother's autopsy photos.

David Pautsch said, though the images were graphic and painful to see, he did not regret seeing them.

"I'm so glad I got them and, actually, didn't know I could," he said. "Sometimes you've got to face the music to get the reality."

Jared's reaction was different, he said: "He just cried like a baby. It also made him angry."

Anger can be fuel for a soldier.

"General Patton once said, 'The purpose of war is not to die for your country, but make the other poor bastard die for his,'" Jared wrote, paraphrasing Gen. George Patton's quote. "It seems that all we are doing is training these people how to make us die for our country while we are fighting them at the same time."

Sending a second son to war

Jared's parents are praying their second goodbye ends differently.

"This morning I was sentimentally thinking back on all the trips I've made to Fort Benning, GA, Fort Carson, Colo., and Fort Bragg, N.C. to see Jason and Jared, and now I feel like an absolute genius that I spent the money and time to go," David Pautsch wrote in an e-mail last week. "Today I look back on all the memories with Jason and Jared and feel so blessed that the Lord used these times to connect us in a very special way. It was the best money I've ever spent!"

As the parents of a young soldier who died at war, facing the deployment of another son was made easier by something important: They believe Jared was called to serve.

"Anybody who feels that strongly is called to that position - just as a policeman or a firefighter or a pastor," Johnson said. "You have no choice as a parent. When he told me he was going to deploy, I just started bawling. But I realized that wasn't good for him.

"I told him I'm proud of him and I support him."

Pride and support already were familiar sentiments to the parents of Jared and Jason Pautsch.

"I think we both feel very proud of him, even though we feel a bit emotionally vulnerable and sad, too, since we've been through this farewell routine before with Jason, and he didn't come home," David Pautsch said. "So now with Jared over in Afghanistan, I find myself rather apprehensive emotionally."

During her farewell visit with Jared, Johnson said, she was surprised by the memories that rushed back.

"My feelings centered on what it was like to be there with Jason and say goodbye - how he saluted me when he saw me on the stairs," she said. "I needed to go through that, I think, because I'd forgotten it.

"I have to give all my cares and fears about Jared back to God every day, or I would be overwhelmed. For me, though, I felt relief for Jared, because going is what he needed for his grief."

Barb Ickes can be contacted at (563) 383-2316 or bickes@qctimes.com.