And the couch goes over there
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By Barb Ickes | Monday, October 13, 2008 |
What to do, what to do?
Do I simply stop making payments on my mortgage, or do I go shopping for a much bigger house that I have no chance whatsoever of actually being able to afford?
Either way, my chances of getting a piece of the big bailout bill are much better if I quit being so darned responsible. I don’t know what I was thinking when I went to three Quad-City banks a few years ago, shopping for the best interest rate for the house I wanted to buy.
I distinctly recall being told by at least one loan officer that I qualified for well over $100,000 more than I was borrowing. Why didn’t I listen to her? She was just being generous and looking out for my best interests.
It is clear now that she merely wanted me to have granite countertops, new stainless steel appliances and a four-car garage. Curse my frugality!
If only I’d listened and succumbed to greed and recklessness (slapping forehead), the rest of you could be bailing me out of the mess I was too chicken to create.
You suppose it’s too late to stop abiding by the buzz-kill principle of living within my means?
The elaborate house-shopping thing sounds like fun. And I know just how to do it. I’ve watched enough episodes of TV shows such as “House Hunters” to know a thing or two about buying champagne on a beer budget.
I’ve watched 20-somethings who have no children and starter jobs wrinkle their noses and say things such as, “The fourth bedroom is awfully small,” or, “That third bathroom needs updating,” or, “This one doesn’t have a pool.”
Whatever happened to the starter house, anyway? Has this country become so complacent about mountainous piles of debt that they’ll sign for anything?
How did the greedy banks find so many suckers who got drunk on the idea of 6,000 square feet and a fireplace in the bedroom — on a secretary’s salary?
And now, rather than punishing the greedy banks and reckless buyers, we’re throwing money at them. Those of us who didn’t screw up, faithfully and dutifully paying our home loans, get to bankroll a windfall for the fiscally incompetent.
They did the crime, we’re doing the time.
Arizona Sen. John McCain, the GOP candidate for president, has proposed a new plan, which goes like this: The government buys up bad mortgage loans, converting them into low-interest, federally insured loans.
To qualify, homeowners would have to be delinquent in their payments or be likely to fall behind in the near future. They also would have to live in the home and prove they were credit-worthy when they bought it and made a decent down payment.
Ha! I almost qualify. All I’m missing is the part about being delinquent or likely to fall behind.
But I could fix that.
Ooooooh. Wait until the cats hear they’re each getting their own room!
Gee whiz, taxpayers, thanks!
Barb Ickes can be contacted at (563) 383-2316 or bickes@qctimes.com.
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