Today's generation exchanges formality for fun at dinner parties

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By Lillia Callum-Penso | Wednesday, April 9, 2008 9:10 AM CDT | () comments

The disappearance of the dinner party is symptomatic of broader social elements at work, says party hostess Stephanie Burnette, one of the Supper Swap girls, who writes a blog of the same name and attributes her friends' waning interest to overscheduled lives. (Contributed photo) (GNS)

Thirty minutes before guests are to arrive for her dinner party, Stephanie Burnette is in the kitchen, finishing up her appetizers. She chats calmly, her 3 1/2-month-old daughter Scotland sitting contentedly in an infant seat nearby.

Burnette expects four couples tonight, and her menu includes an appetizer of prosciutto-wrapped pesto shrimp, Caesar salad in parmesan bowls, grilled strip steak and fresh, chocolate-dipped strawberries. Each course is paired with its own wine, and Burnette has set the mood with candles and fresh rosemary.

Wait, is that Quiet Riot playing on the stereo? Is that bottled pesto she’s using on the shrimp? Is that a stack of books in the corner of the dining room?

The answer to all three would be yes.

This is a dinner party for a new age, elegant but not fancy, tasteful but not pretentious, classy but not expensive, and it’s the only way Burnette entertains.

“To have a dinner party today, you have to give up the notion that your house has to be clean, that your children have to be asleep and that the food has to be perfect,” she says. “People don’t entertain because they think everything has to be this Martha Stewart set.”

Depending on who you are, dinner parties are either a lost art or simply an impractical one in today’s world. Between working and hauling her kids to soccer practice, piano lessons and math tutoring, Greenville, S.C., resident Heather Kanipe says, “Who has the time?” The mother of two who works full-time and volunteers will gladly help with someone else’s dinner party, but the thought of throwing her own is in the “never-going-to-happen” category.

“I have a house, two jobs, two kids, a dog, a fish,” she says. “There’s always something going on. We’ve got art lessons for one child and speech therapy for another child and two full-time jobs, two children. There’s just no time to really do it the way I would want to do it. I’m a perfectionist, and if I’m going to throw a dinner party, it’s going to be fantastic, and I just never have time.”

The disappearance of the dinner party is symptomatic of broader social elements at work, says Burnette, who attributes her friends’ waning interest to the wave of overscheduled lives. It’s a true loss, she says, of “a lot of what is so truly American.”

“I think it’s a shame that children don’t see their parents entertain in their home,” says Burnette, one of the Supper Swap girls who writes a blog by the same name for GreenvilleOnline and UpstateMoms.com. “It’s part of being gracious and fostering friendships.”

But where the traditional dinner party may be dying, the supper club may be picking up steam, says Alyn Abrams, an instructor and manager at Foxfire Gallery and Kitchen Shops in Greenville. The store that also offers a wide range of regular cooking classes recently has focused more on small-gathering entertaining with classes such as “Shockingly Simple: A Three-Course Meal” and “Do-Ahead Friday Entertaining.” The common theme is an elegant meal fast.

“There are a number of people who tell me they are members of a supper club and they are looking for something different,” Abrams says. “I see them in a lot of the quick and easy classes so they can do exactly that, they can get in and out.”

For her dinner, Burnette has asked each couple to bring one course and an appropriate wine to go with it, adding elegance at much less than the cost of a restaurant meal. The men migrate toward the grill outside to help with the appetizer while the women convene in the kitchen to sip wine and keep Burnette company.

“I think the dinner parties of old are kind of passe for my generation now,” says Kanipe, one of the guests.

“To me, it’s about good conversation and relationships, and I think you lose the relationship part of it with a formal dinner party,” she says. “But (this) setting makes it casual, and casual means comfortable to me.”

So you can have your rack of lamb and wear your jeans, too.

A DINNER PARTY AS EASY AS 1-2-3

Wondering how to throw a great dinner party that doesn’t cost a lot or take too much time and doesn’t skimp on quality? Supper Swap Girls Stephanie Burnette and Kim Eades have the solution. The two write the Supper Swap Blog for Greenville Online.com and UpstateMoms.com, and they have developed the perfect dinner party formula.

The plan

1. Invite three other couples for a four-course meal.

2. Each couple is in charge of one course with wine. The host takes the entree. Go ahead and get out that wedding china you never use because each couple is also in charge of washing the dishes from their course.

3. Divide up the menu below and e-mail the recipes. It’s a surefire win.

What you need

• Good food and good friends

• Baby sitters

• An empty sink and a stack of clean dish towels

The perfect dinner party menu

• Appetizer: Grilled prosciutto-wrapped shrimp with Pesto; pair with chardonnay.

• Salad: Caesar salad in crispy parmesan cups; pair with pinot grigio.

• Entree: Cheater filet with blackberry balsamic glaze and grilled asparagus; pair with merlot.

• Dessert: Chocolate-covered strawberries; pair with champagne.

ULTIMATE DINNER PARTY RECIPES

After your guests are done enjoying dinner, Supper Swap Girls Stephanie Burnette and Kim Eades suggest giving them the ultimate party favor: Hot, creamy coffee in a disposable to-go cup with a lid. It will make taking the baby sitter home a lot more enjoyable.

Caesar Salad in Crispy Parmesan Cups

4 cups shredded (not grated) parmesan cheese

Cooking spray

1 head romaine lettuce

Caesar salad dressing

Wash and tear romaine into bite-size pieces. Toss with dressing and set aside.

Heat oven to 400 degrees. Spray cookie sheet with nonstick cooking spray. Spread one-half cup of cheese in a large circle on a cookie sheet, making two circles. Bake for 4 minutes. Quickly peel up the cheese circle with a thin spatula and lay it over an upside-down bowl. It will set quickly. When cool enough to handle, flip over and fill with Caesar salad. Repeat with remaining cheese. Serves 8.

Mediterranean Grilled Shrimp Appetizer

1 pound medium shrimp

Jar of pesto

1/2 pound prosciutto (sliced thin in deli section)

Wood skewers

Peel and de-vein shrimp. Cut prosciutto to fit shrimp.

Lay piece of prosciutto flat and spread with a bit of pesto. Wrap one shrimp in the piece of prosciutto, repeat with remaining shrimp.

Thread 3 wrapped shrimp on a skewer; repeat with remaining shrimp. Grill skewers for 3 minutes on each side. Serves 8.

Cheater Filet with Blackberry Balsamic Glaze and Grilled Asparagus

4 thick New York strip steaks

Olive oil

Salt and pepper

1/2 jar Thai chili garlic sauce

1/4 cup of blackberry balsamic vinegar

1 bunch asparagus

Few splashes ponzu sauce

Cut New York strips in half to make beautiful “baseballs” of beef. Toss with salt, pepper and olive oil. Grill to temperature of your liking.

Toss asparagus with olive oil, salt and pepper and grill alongside steak. As it slightly chars, pull it off the grill. Add a few splashes of ponzu sauce over the top.

In a skillet, heat the Thai chili garlic sauce and the blackberry balsamic vinegar.

Bring to a boil and then lower heat. Simmer gently for 6-8 minutes or until slightly reduced.

Pull steaks off the grill and glaze both sides with sauce. Serve with grilled asparagus. Serves 8.

Chocolate-Covered Strawberries

1 pound strawberries, washed and dried

Microwave dipping chocolate

Long sheet of waxed paper

Follow directions on microwave dipping box. Dip strawberries in chocolate. Place immediately on wax paper and allow to set. Refrigerate for up to 24 hours. Serves 8.