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What’s-his-face to be out in two

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By Barb Ickes | Tuesday, April 29, 2008 | 96 comment(s)

We've got about two years before we have to start looking over our shoulders for Bruce Fish.

Scary!

Fish is the “man” who already had two drunken-driving convictions when he slammed into the back of Shirley Matkovic’s car, killing her and her 6-year-old grandson, Cole. It’s hard to believe that was almost 10 years ago and harder yet to believe that Fish served only five years for it.

Remember: His blood-alcohol was nearly three times the legal limit for driving when he hit Matkovic’s stopped car, doing 80 mph. There were no skid marks at the scene, indicating he

didn’t have a clue there was another vehicle on the road.

Two years after serving his shamefully short sentence, the village idiot of Sherrard, Ill., was back on the road.

He was pulled over in Cable, Ill., on Oct. 1, 2005, for driving erratically. Naturally, he was drunk but evidently not drunk enough because he had more beer, shrewdly hidden behind the driver’s seat. He had something else with him that time: Two little girls.

When Fish was stopped, driving a van with no front license plate, by the way, his 7-year-old daughter was sitting on his lap. Her 10-year-old friend was a passenger.

In a courageous display of his razor-sharp intellectual prowess, the 50-year-old offered this rock-solid legal defense: The 7-year-old was driving.

Can you imagine?

The guy has three prior DUIs, including one that was a double fatality, he’s driving drunk again, without a license, after being out of prison for just two years. This time, he’s driving drunk with a child on his lap.

What did he think the judge was going to say?

“So, you weren’t driving, Mr. Fish? You were merely operating the gas pedal? Well, then, you’re free to go. But the kid’s coming with us. She’s clearly a menace.”

Right. Who could’ve guessed that strategy wouldn’t work?

Mercer County State’s Attorney Greg McHugh threw the book at Fish with both hands. He took into account his priors and turned a 5-year prison sentence into a 10-year sentence.

But Fish went crying to the court of appeals, saying the sentence was excessive. He didn’t deserve 10 years, poor thing.

But he lost. The Third District Appellate Court last week ruled that Fish is on the hook for the whole 10. Problem is that he’ll only do five. Again.

On July 2, 2010, he’s scheduled for parole.

“With his history of drinking and driving, every day he is in prison gives the community a little more protection,” McHugh said of the ruling.

So I called him and asked why Fish wasn’t also popped for child endangerment or being a dangerously stupid parent or something.

“Those were misdemeanors,” he said. “We wanted to go with the most severe penalty.”

It’s not McHugh’s fault that the most severe penalty never seems quite severe enough where Fish is concerned. But you know what’s worse? Odds are there will be a next time.

Barb Ickes can be contacted at (563) 383-2316 or bickes@qctimes.com.