Funny holiday letters: Take 3

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By Times readers | Sunday, December 24, 2006 10:09 PM CST | () comments

Rockin’ Christmas gift

Every year on Christmas Eve I set my alarm clock to 4:50 a.m. Well, when I was 7 or 8 I didn’t know how to set my alarm clock, so that Christmas morning I woke up at 10:50 a.m. My mom, dad, sister, grandma and grandpa were downstairs waiting for me to get up in my favorite blue bunny pajamas.

After my family and I were done opening presents we were off to go to my Grandma Janet’s house. I opened a few presents and I usually shake them then guess what they are and then open them. I was about to open my last one when I shake it and I guessed it was 2 disc DVD. I was wrong, it was a ROCK! I was REALLY mad when I first got it but when I found out it was just a joke I started laughing.

-- Gretchen Simpson, Alexis, Ill.

My sister Megan

My sister Megan likes to sing. She really got excited when it came to M.E.L.C. Pre-School music programs. She was 4 years old at this time and it was time for a Christmas program. She practiced and practiced everyday for this program. The day of the Christmas program, the pre-school was told to sing loud. Megan was already told to sing loud. The first part of the Christmas program Megan sang so people could hear her. Megan wanted everyone to listen VERY well to this song. It was “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” She sang loud the first part until, “You better not pout. You better not cry.” She yelled that part. Megan pointed and shook her finger to everyone. She did it with a straight face! Everyone laughed.

That same Christmas program, Megan did something funny again. It was the song “Jingle Bells.” They gave out bells for the pre-school kids to ring. Megan was ringing her bell when all of a sudden it flew out of her hands! She opened her mouth wide and put her hands over her mouth. Lucky for Megan, they had more. That is the funniest Christmas program ever.

-- Amanda Hardesty, Cameron, Ill.

Christmas at my grandma’s

This Christmas I was at my grandma’s and we were putting up decorations for Christmas. We started at 1:00 in the afternoon. We were putting up the blowups and then we got to the outside all lights Christmas tree. We had a bunch of people over since we had just had Thanksgiving lunch and we were all outside. You have to put the Christmas tree on the flagpole. So they tell everybody to grab a set of lights, which my Uncle Jeff called a male and a female.

Well, I have two and my little brother wanted to help, I said yes. While my Grandpa went to go get an extension cord so the tree would have more than one place to have all the lights going to. So everybody carefully and gently put the center and my brother just let his go and all the pair got mixed up. Everybody started laughing. After that he started nailing in the 1-foot long nails into the ground. Again everybody laughs HA-HA-HA-HE-HE-HE. It was probably 5:00 and we go outside and nail in the ground the 1-foot nails. It was a Christmas I will never forget.

-- Cassandra Ellison, Monmouth, Ill.

Christmas surprise

On Christmas Day when my parents were sleeping, my sister and I went outside and got a tub full of snow and we went up stairs and threw it on our parents. They jumped up and they were screaming and we said we wanted to open our parents. So we all went downstairs and opened our presents.

-- Trenton Watts, North Henderson, Ill.

New guitar

Have you ever been tricked on Christmas day? Well, I have. I told my mom one year I wanted an acoustic guitar. She told me maybe. When Christmas Day came there was a HUGE present. But there was no name on it. I looked and looked for a name but there was no name. So I thought, “oh it’s my present anyway.” So I went and woke my parents up. When everybody was done opening presents my mom said “Go get that big present Matt and give it to me.” I thought, aw man, it’s not mine. Then she said, “Now come sit on my lap and open it.” I thought, yes. When I opened it ... it was a box that had a picture of a vanity like my sister’s that she got for her birthday that year. I opened the box and it was an ACOUSTIC GUITAR!!!!

-- Matt Stewart, Cameron, Ill.

Probably not the NBA

The day when I turned 5, I got my first basketball. It was on Christmas. My brother took it from me. But I took it back. I got a small basketball hoop for inside that was really fun. I still play basketball now because it is my favorite sport. I am trying to get to the NBA. But it probably won’t happen.

-- Ben Wade, Monmouth, Ill.

Asking and bribing

One Christmas, when I was eight, me and my mom bought my dad exactly what he wanted for Christmas. My dad kept asking what he got. I wouldn’t tell him though. He kept asking and bribing. But I didn’t tell him. Finally on Christmas morning, he asked for a hint. So I thought that wouldn’t be telling him. So I told him it was for his truck. Then he started laughing, but I didn’t know why. He told me that he only asked for two things, a grill and a brand new CD player. He beat me that he could get it out of me and he won. He thought that was funny but my mom didn’t.

-- Danton McMullin, North Henderson, Ill.

Bucket of snow

One year all of us kids wanted to open our presents, but my mom would not get up. So my stepdad told my stepbrother to go get a bucket of snow. When he got back in, everyone was wondering what he was going to do with the snow. Then my stepdad took the bucket and he dumped it on my mom. Then all of a sudden there was a loud scream and all of us kids started to laugh. That is my funny Christmas story!

- Amanda Newell, Monmouth, Ill.

No more bragging

When I was seven years old I was bragging that no one could throw me into the snow. The night before Christmas I was wearing shorts and had no shirt on. After I had bragged for a long time, I was talking to my mom and all of a sudden I was swept off my feet! My dad had me and when he got to the door my sister opened it and my dad yelled 1, 2, 3! And off I went into the snow! I was very cold and went to take a warm shower!

-- Austin Schleich, Monmouth, Ill.

Jersey is back

The year I turned six my mom brought home Jersey, one of my dog’s puppies, for the holidays. I couldn’t remember her so I asked my mom if we got a new dog. She said no. I asked if we were pet sitting for someone, she said no, it was one of our old dogs. I started guessing: another Molly? No. Ginger? No. And so on for a while. Then I finally said I give up. She said it was Jersey. I was so excited to see her again.

-- Jaysen Neice, Alexis, Ill.

Crashed into pile of snow

On Christmas morning my brother and I have a go-kart. So we tied up the sled to it. We had huge piles of snow on the other side of the driveway. I was driving and I thought he would have fun so I turned the wheel really sharp, and off he flew! But see, he wasn’t sure that I was going to do that and he kind of let go of the sled and landed in a huge pile of snow.

Then we had to bring him inside and set by the fireplace. Later, that day I got on the sled and then he ramped me and I flew across the driveway! Then I landed really close to the end of the driveway and then I was just laying down on the ice and while I was rolling across the ice I ran into a big pile of snow. Then my brother and I, well he crashed into another pile of snow with the dirt bike and I crashed into mud with the dirt bike.

-- Paige Garrett, Alexis, Ill.

Snowball fight

One time, my dad, my brother Colby, and my friend Chase and I went to Peoria. It was Christmastime. When we went to Best Buy we started walking toward the doors to go in and it had snow on the ground and I made a snowball and threw it at my dad and we started a snowball fight in the Best Buy parking lot! Also, when we walked out of Best Buy, we had another snowball fight. It was so much fun!

-- Isaac Taber, Cameron, Ill.

Catch that cat

Every year my mom puts up a wreath with Santa Claus on the front of it. One year my mom was putting it up and my cat, Buddy, got scared of it and almost ran up the Christmas tree, but instead he ran outside because he knows my dad doesn’t like him climbing on our tree, so I had to catch him.

-- Lexy Dodson, Monmouth, Ill.

Oh, that hurt

One day, three nights before Christmas, my family and I went to go and get our Christmas tree. We got to the place and we were there for about two hours. Finally, we got our tree; we put it in the back of our car and went home. When we go into our house we took it into our front room and tried to get it up. First it was too tall so we took it back outside and trimmed it up a little. Then we took it into our house and back into our front room and put it up.

So my dad made me go and hold it up and my mom and my dad needed my mom’s help for something. Mom let go of the tree and my dad was lifting the tree to try and get it in the bucket thing again and that did not work out because the tree fell right on top of me. It hurt a little but not really and it was really funny to my family. That’s what made our Christmas funny.

-- Ally Davis, Monmouth, Ill.

Chopper did it

One day before Christmas Eve, my parents were at work. My brother and I were just playing videogames. A few hours passed and then all of a sudden we hear a CRASH so we walk into our living room to see what happened. So when we got there our Christmas tree had fallen. The lights were everywhere and ornaments were broken. Then we saw our dog and cat fighting. Dan said, “They’re going to be mad.” So my brother and I wait for my dad, Dave, to get home. When he gets home we say, “Chopper knocked our Christmas tree over.” So he went into the other room and sees what we saw. Then my dad got sort of mad and told us we should have picked up the tree but we still had a good Christmas.

-- Cody Kellogg, Monmouth, Ill.

New scooter

One day on Christmas I was so excited because I asked for a scooter when I was about nine years old. When I got up I went and looked at all of the presents and I saw one that looked like the box of a scooter. I was so excited so I went and woke up my parents. Then we started opening the presents I was getting so excited. I had a grin from one cheek to the other and my face was bright red. I couldn’t wait. When my parents handed me my last present I was so happy because it was the one that looked like a scooter so I opened it and it was a scooter box. So I opened the box and it was a little toy scooter. I was mad but then my mom went to her room and got my scooter. So in the end I was happy.

-- Kyle Redd, Monmouth, Ill.

Tell Santa what you want

When I was in my first year of preschool, a man dressed as Santa visited our school. He sat in a chair and every one of us had to go up there, sit on his lap, and tell what we wanted for Christmas. I was a little scared of him because I thought he was a creepy robber. When it was my turn, I ended up going up there. “What do you want for Christmas?” he asked me. “A brand new trampoline. I used to have one, but my stinky brother and his dumb friends all jumped on it with their dump shoes!” I replied. “And they broke it!” It was just a little funny because a little preschooler was blaming all this on her big brother. (Who didn’t mean to do it and wasn’t hardly doing anything at all) I will remember this time every time I see someone telling someone dressed up as Santa, what they want.

-- Olivia Kennedy, Monmouth, Ill.

Soapy dishes

One Christmas, when my mom and dad were still married, we went to my Grandma Goben’s house. When we got to her house, we waited until the food was done and ready. Then we sat down to eat. Everyone was eating, laughing, talking and having a good time. After eating, came the most dreadful part after any meal, washing the dishes. My two cousins, Amy and Sarah, were chosen to complete this job. Amy and Sarah finished the dishes and finished very quickly but nobody thought anything of it. Until ... my dad decided to have a glass of tea. It tasted a little soapy to him so he asked the girls if the had rinsed the dishes well and it turned out they had not rinsed the dishes at all!

-- Meghan Perkins, Alexis, Ill.

As fast as a rocket

One of my most funny Christmas stories is when my sister Jenny, Becca, and I went sledding. We walked all through the pastures looking for the best hill to slide down. We had tried out over three hills and still haven’t found the best hill. Then, we finally found one! It was the best hill ever. It was steep and it had a ramp at the bottom. I went first; I went flying down as fast as a rocket! Next it was Becca and Jenny’s turn. They also went flying down and flipped at the end. I started laughing, but then I went to go see if they were OK. They were down at the bottom of the hill laughing. Finally they had gotten up and we all decided to go at the same time. We all fell off our sleds and went flying off the ramp! We all started laughing.

After that we finally decided to go inside and have hot chocolate. That is one of my favorite funny holiday stories!

-- Jessica Youngquist, Cameron, Ill.

Molly tore up the helicopter

The day of Christmas in 2004, I got some kind of helicopter. I was playing with it and my dog Molly would always hide in a corner every time I flew it. We got Molly last year for Christmas. About the sixth time I flew it, it went too high, touched the ceiling, then it came crashing down. Right before it hit the ground my dog came running by, jumped, caught it and tore it up. It was fun while it lasted. But it’s gone now. That’s why it was my funniest Christmas.

-- Michael Olin, Alexis, Ill.

Sledding trip

My story takes place in Monmouth Park when my uncle, mom, and I went sledding. The story takes place sometime near Christmas when I went on my first sledding trip. It was a very big hill. What I didn’t know is that there was a stream at the bottom of the hill.

A few times down I was doing OK until my uncle pushed me so hard that by the time I was almost to the stream, my sled started to slow down and stopped about 8 inches away from the edge. I was so scared that I slowly got off my sled, picked it up, and got back up the hill. After that we went to another hill and sledded happily ever after.

-- Chris Wunnenberg, Monmouth, Ill.

‘Here girl’

Around Christmastime, my brother had a Rottweiler named Diamond. He brought her over to play in the snow. He told me to get a rope and my sled. While I was doing that, he went in and asked my mom something. When he came outside again he was so happy and he was laughing. He took me out in the alley and told me to get in the sled and hang on tight. I didn’t know what was going to happen. He tied the rope to Diamond and hooked the sled up to the rope.

Next thing I knew, Diamond was chasing a cat around our house and I was on the sled. Diamond ran really fast so I was getting snow in my face. I went over a HUGE hill in my yard and finally the cat went up a tree and my brother said “here girl” and she flew up to him. I hit a big rock and fell out. We were laughing, I was laughing and crying at the same time. That is a memory I will never forget.

-- Brianna Johnson, Alexis, Ill.

Grandpa ran over mailbox

Here is one of my funny stories. It was Christmas morning and my grandparent’s always come out on Christmas morning. It was really early and we had a lot of snow that night. You see, our mailbox is right beside our driveway. Well, it was early, and it was still a little dark, so while we were waiting for them to get here, it started snowing again. Well finally we see them coming down our drive. My brother and me were excited to see them so we could open our presents. Well, we saw my grandparents and all of a sudden we heard a loud crack. We went to see what it was and we looked and my grandpa ran our mailbox over. My dad and me went out and sit it aside and they came in and we opened our presents. And we had a good Christmas.

-- Jackson Brentise, Monmouth, Ill.

All the way down the stairs

It was last Christmas, we had gone over to my brother’s house that Christmas afternoon. We had already had our Christmas at home that morning. But my brother was not able to come. I had just got his living room picked up and all the presents under the Christmas tree when my brother asked me to help him bring some more presents from upstairs down.

So I did and on my way down I tripped on the edge of the step. I tumbled all the way to the bottom and smashed into the baby safety gate, and knocked it right off the wall. While everyone in the kitchen was rushing in to see what happened I was being attacked by presents. So I hope this year I won’t be asked to help bring presents down.

-- Preston Snyder, Monmouth, Ill.

So much trouble

One day I went outside with my brother Cole. It was snowing and we were bored so we took out the wagon out of the garage and got my lab dog, Maggie. We tied her to the wagon and I got in it, but Maggie would not go, she just stood there like “What am I supposed to do?” So ... Cole thought, “What can make her go?” He went into the house and got a huge bucketful of water and splashed it onto Maggie!! She went flying and I crashed into a tree! We got in so ... so much trouble that day!

-- Morgan Froelich, Monmouth, Ill.

Presents on top of me

When I was a wee lad, I lived in Houston Texas. I lived in a beautiful home, and we had a huge Christmas every year. The living room we had looked like an indoor, full-size basketball court, the ceiling went up about 18 feet. Each year when Christmas came around, we would write out what we wanted for Christmas and put it all down on a piece of paper and sent it to Santa.

And on one particular year we all got our presents under the tree and the tree was at least 14 feet tall! The brilliant colors of red wrapping paper and golden bows went half way up the tree and would spread out from the tree until there was no space to walk or jump around the presents without stepping on them. It was like that for many years, but for this one we only opened up a few presents, and my curiosity go a hold of me and I carefully stepped in between presents to get to the tree and I bumped into a very large present, and that very large present hit another large present and hit another present until it was like a domino design on the floor, and I was right in the middle of the confusion.

There must have been 50 presents on top of me, and that was the first time that happened to me. Everyone was laughing, my mom and dad, Alicia, Crystal, Lora, Lucas, and my little brother Michael, we were all laughing and having a good time. That is my Christmas story, and it is a good one.

-- Tyler Seitz, LeClaire, Iowa