WHY NOT HERE? John Stender finds career, lifestyle and Iowa friends in Chicago

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By John Stender | Wednesday, December 27, 2006 1:47 AM CST | () comments

Contributed photo John Stender, 28, is surrounded by his St. Ambrose friends, all young Iowans or Illinoisans who have moved to the Chicago area: In back from left, Theresa Horak, Washington, Iowa; Gina Radochonski, Peru, Ill.; Melissa Luetkehans, Dubuque; Kate Scherbring, Dyersville, Iowa, and, front left, Stacy Lawrence, Sterling, Ill.

Why not here? The answer to your question isn’t an easy one. On one hand I would love to live in Iowa and be close to my family, on the other I find it almost impossible to imagine. This is because of my lifestyle, my social life and my career. I’m from a small town in western Iowa called Massena. To say that Massena had a population of 400 might be a stretch. As a gay man I have found that my rural community has been surprisingly accepting of me and my lifestyle when I come home to visit. I could not have asked for a better place to grow up. I learned about neighbors helping neighbors, had concerned teachers and an active church community. I truly believe that Iowans epitomize the values of faith, family and friends. At the same time rural Iowa doesn’t exactly have a thriving gay scene. This always leads to the question: If not rural Iowa, then why not Davenport or Des Moines? This is something that I haven’t completely ruled out but my logic so far is that in the case of Davenport I would be four hours from my family and in the case of Des Moines I’d still be about an hour and a half away. If I’m not going to enjoy the benefits of living down the street from my parents and sisters, then why not choose a city with more of what I’m looking for? Chicago is the third largest city in the United States and I’m still able to make it home for holidays, birthday parties, some of my nieces’ and nephews’ ball games or just to enjoy the great outdoors.

I went to St. Ambrose in Davenport and made many friends from all over Iowa. My social circle in Chicago consists of many former Iowans. It’s not like I would jump off of the Centennial Bridge if my friends did, but it did make it easier to move to a new city knowing that I would know people from back home. We defend Iowa if any good- natured jibes come up, we wear Hawkeye regalia, and we carpool back to our home state for homecomings, tailgates and weddings.

I recently finished law school and feel like there will probably be more opportunities in finding a job in Chicago. I realize that there are career opportunities in Iowa as well and that location doesn’t out weigh hard work to become successful. I’m actually heading home to “get away” and study for the bar exam. That might sum it up. A stereotype of Iowa is that it is quiet and laid back. It’s a stereotype I’m excited to take advantage of. Maybe young Iowans are leaving Iowa for a little adventure in their youth. Maybe, like moving from the city to the suburbs, young Iowans will come back to buy houses and raise children.

Why Not Here is a Quad-City Times Editorial Page series featuring essays from young Iowans and Illinoisans who moved away, others who have moved back and some who are sticking around. Add your story about the reasons you moved from or to the Quad-Cities.

More essays from former Iowans