Departed loved ones honored at service
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By Jody Ferres | Wednesday, December 13, 2006 |
John Schultz/QUAD-CITY TIMES Doug Schoonover, former Navy chaplain and now Trinity Pathway Hospice chaplain, leads a candlelight remembrance service Tuesday night at the First Evangelical Free Church in Moline. The service was for community members to gather for reflection and remembrance of loved ones and friends who have passed away.
Light from the candle flickered across Susan Leon’s face, illuminating the silent tears streaming down her cheeks.
Closing her eyes, the Davenport woman stood still, taking in the moment of silence and the large void her heart feels this Christmas.
Like many others in the room, Leon is spending this holiday without the loved one she’s called her husband, partner and best friend the past 34 years.
“It’s very, very difficult,” said Leon, shaking her head. “No one knows what it’s like to lose someone you love until it happens to you.”
Although the pain Leon feels penetrates extra deep during the holiday season, the Trinity Pathway Hospice Candlelight Service of Remembrance helps Quad-Citians remember that they are not alone during the holidays.
About 75 people who have lost loved ones joined together at First Evangelical Free Church in Moline on Tuesday night. Although Trinity Hospital’s Hospice program hosted the service, anyone who has lost a loved one was invited to come and take a few moments to remember their friends and family.
From people who lost a loved one two decades ago to those who passed in the last 10 days, the crowd was greeted by a message of holiday survival.
Doug Schoonover, chaplain at Trinity Pathway Hospice, told the crowd there are three key areas to survive the stressful time of year after you’ve lost a loved one.
“You must first overcome fear, which is the most debilitating emotion,” he said. “You might have financial fears, emotional fears or the fear of being alone, but you never really are.”
In addition, he said people must have the capacity to receive comfort and finally comfort others.
“Find someone who is feeling worse then you are,” Schoonover said. “When you stop and help them, you forget about yourself for awhile.”
Four candle stations were set up around the sanctuary representing grief, courage, memories and love. Before Schoonover recited the list of about 40 names, the crowd was invited to light their candles.
Cindy Pile, bereavement coordinator for Trinity Pathway Hospice, is a strong believer that Hospice care can be a long-term relationship with those left.
“Hospice doesn’t end when they die,” she said. “Even though families are only on the mailing list for 13 months, our counseling never ends.”
Trinity Pathway Hospice has been conducting two remembrance services every year for more than 20 years. Pile said conducting the spring and holiday remembrance services in facilities other than hospitals can be comforting to the families.
“Sometimes going to the hospitals can resurface memories,” she said.
Julia and Brian Wheeler of Moline appreciated the candlelight service being in a separate facility.
“My sister died in hospice at the hospital, and I still can’t go through the doors without tearing up,” said Julia, who lost her sister, Anna, in July to breast cancer. “You walk through the doors and remember pacing up and down the hallways. Here, everyone knows what you were through and a squeeze on the shoulder while you’re holding your candle and crying means the world.”
The city desk can be contacted at (563) 383-2450 or newsroom@qctimes.com.
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