New mom copes alone as husband/father serves in the Middle East

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| Saturday, May 8, 2004 9:56 PM CDT | () comments

Deirdre Cox Baker

Jamie Park lay in her Davenport hospital bed and stared at the wall. It was late one cold February night, and she hoped her husband � a soldier serving in the Middle East � would walk through the door at any minute.

Eight months pregnant, sick and scared, Jamie believed her husband, Sgt. Joshua Park, could come home on emergency leave from the U.S. Army post in Kuwait where he is stationed. But it was not to be, and the 21-year-old went on to survive pre-eclampsia, kidney problems, high blood pressure and the Caesarean section birth of 4-pound Sydney Alea Park.

She did so without her spouse, which is how she will spend her first Mother's Day as well.

Jamie does have the support of her parents, Kelly and Robert Gonzales. She has moved back to the Davenport home in which she was raised and shares her childhood bedroom there with Sydney, a crib and other baby accessories.

Her mother, for one, appreciates the interlude. "Even though Josh is in Kuwait, I was given

the opportunity to see my

granddaughter come into this world," she says.

Sydney is now 11 weeks old, weighs more than 8 pounds and is finally able to wear newborn clothing. She's been colicky, though, and that wears on the young mother who has tried a number of ways to lull the uncomfortable child to sleep.

"Sometimes when she cries I just cry along with her," Jamie says.

But there is much to be happy about on a pretty spring day in this attractive, middle-class Davenport neighborhood. It appears Joshua may come home on leave in August and actually meet his new daughter. Sydney has slept through the night twice. And the arrival of warm weather allows the mother and child to take walks or visit nearby NorthPark Mall.

Joshua is attached to the 394th Corps Support Battalion of the U.S. Army Reserves in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, with a home base in Ames. He volunteered for overseas duty, and his current assignment is scheduled to last until June 2005. He tells Jamie he may enlist in the Army full-time.

"When I met him, he was wearing dogtags," she says of her patriotic partner, whom she married in November at the Army Reserve Center in Ames. They were introduced by a cousin when Jamie was a student at the University of Iowa.

They planned to marry this October, but Joshua got called up unexpectedly early. "We spent as much time together as possible," Jamie says of the days before his deployment. Christmas was particularly challenging.

Jamie and Joshua exchange e-mails, sometimes a dozen a day. Her cell phone rings distinctively when he e-mails a message to her computer, so she instantly knows when he's trying to contact her.

She has put her life on hold to care for Sydney and wait for Joshua to return. A planner and an inherently organized soul, she hopes to resume her studies in June 2005 at Scott Community College and ultimately become a nurse. That's a good career, she says, and it will provide job flexibility if her husband indeed enlists in the regular Army.

Jamie salutes her parents, who "deal with me and my hormones" and tend to spoil their granddaughter. "I feel like I'm a single mom, and I know I'm not," she said.

Her mother understands. "We know she's lonely at times, but she's proud of Josh and what he's doing," Gonzales says.

Jamie also has a new friend in Shauna Handsaker, 20, of Colo, Iowa. Handsaker's husband is also in the 394th Corps Support Battalion, and the two met when their spouses left for the Middle East.

"I try to provide her with moral support," Handsaker says. "If she needs to either vent to talk, I'm here to help her."

Handsaker even drove to the Quad-Cities last month to take part along with Jamie and Sydney in the March of Dimes WalkAmerica, a fund-raiser for the fight against birth defects and infant mortality. That cause became extra important to Jamie after Sydney's difficult birth.

It's probably better that Joshua has been delayed in coming home, the young wife philosophically says. Both mother and child are doing well now, and the baby is more active, scooting along on the floor.

Jamie received her first Mother's Day card a few days ago. It was posted from Kuwait and signed, "I love you, mommy. Love, Sydney (with Daddy's help.)"

Deirdre Cox Baker can be contacted at (563) 383-2492 or dbaker@qctimes.com.